The Secret Blog

I'm BACK!!!

2010-02-02T19:03:00.001-08:00

My computer finally is working again, I got my camera software all plugged in, and I have a new phone (unrelated to the blogging, but I was going crazy without it).

I'll be posting daily outfits plus the old outfits I missed over the past couple weeks. Today's outfit wasn't particularly chic--skinny jeans, boots, a tee and a hoodie--so I'm just gonna boot up an older one.

(faux fur vest, flannel shirt and white lace tube dress-forever 21; tights and boots-modcloth)

I think this is from the same week that the last outfit was fun. I was listening to a lot of early/mid 1970s Bob Dylan, so I was inspired by that...think the cover of Desire.

I'm watching the Teen Mom season finale (love the girls, hate Dr. Drew), so I'm going to go soon. I am sort of excited for the next season of 16 and Pregnant, but...I love these girls. Except Farrah. She's kind of a bitch.

Quick culture note, though: Get the new Beach House album, Teen Dream.

sorrysorrysorry

2010-01-21T19:24:00.000-08:00

My computer completely crashed. I can't find the software that goes with my camera, since I have to reinstall it...but as soon as I do you'll have lots of lovely photos. I'll try to keep writing text posts too. But I fear that they are lame.

Open Letter #1

2010-01-14T18:36:00.000-08:00

Dear Random Old Man Watching TV in the Dining Hall,

I know it's cold outside, and I understand that a slightly barf-smelling room curdling with mediocre food and the gentle buzz of cable televisions may lure your senile ass in. I also appreciate Wolf Blitzer's excellent reporting for CNN.

However, the purpose of a dining hall is dining. So lingering for 15 minutes on a detailed news story that involved the sentence "Authorities said they could easily help the girl if they only had a [FUCKING] BUZZ SAW" (emphasis added) isn't really conducive to an enjoyable dining experience in a community area.

I hope your house has heat. And that you have a house. Go there and watch your gruesome news stories. Not here. Not here.

Love always,
Sarah

8 Jan 2010

2010-01-08T12:23:00.000-08:00

Inspired by my Winter Term class, I decided to get a little John Wesley Harding with my wardrobe today. That and it's fucking freezing, so there's no way I was going to wear a dress like yesterday. Excuse my face for looking kinda like shit. Now that I'm back at school I'm exhausted all the time.

earrings-a broader concept (hooksett, NH), crochet top-modcloth, black top-gap, jeans-gap, boots-modcloth, turquoise ring-street vendor (santa fe, NM), doggie-style ring-martin's emporium (greencastle, IN), bracelet-modcloth

Sorry some of the pictures are blurry. In a classic amateur move, I suck at changing the focus on my camera. In case you can't see, the doggie-style ring, indeed, portrays a couple doing it doggie-style. I almost bought a missionary version of that ring, but then the clerk showed me the doggie-style one and I just HAD to have it, because doggie-style is an infinitely superior position.

My aunt gave me this ModCloth off-the-shoulder top for Christmas. It's very me-at-15 (I was a big hippie) but I still really like it. I can't wait to wear it in the summer with some denim shorts. Makes me feel young again!

The boots are the same boots as yesterday. I'll probably be wearing them for quite a while; they're the only flat boots I own that aren't obscenely ugly. Plus, they're cute.

How to be About as Happy as Me, vol. III

2010-01-07T14:31:00.001-08:00

8. Fall in love with a screenwriter and have him fall in love with you. Buy him dorky tee shirts.

9. The first day you arrive somewhere, eat your favorite food from that place until you're satisfied, no matter how unhealthy it is. Go to the gym the next day.

10. Experiment.

11. Listen to Matt & Kim!!

7 January 2010

2010-01-07T10:36:00.000-08:00

Behold, my first daily outfit post.

beret-??, necklace-girlprops, blouse-express, dress-forever 21, tights-memoi, boots-modcloth.

I know it's a mirror pic and mirror pics suck, but my room isn't that big and I can't get a full-body shot using the self timer, and I think it's really awkward to ask other people to take pictures of you for no apparent reason. And if I say "it's for my blog" I sound like a mega douche. So please just deal with it.

The beret is a present from my parents. They got it at a hattery in Quebec. It has no tags or anything.

I started going back to school today for Winter Term. My course is about the divine film I'm Not There, "about" Bob Dylan.

I want to give a quick shoutout to the lovely people at We Are Youneak, a winning fashion/photography blog. Thanks for checking me out, guys!

My Life as a Slut

2010-01-01T18:10:00.000-08:00

I have been labeled a slut in some degree at least since middle school. Maybe elementary school. Since my parents always used proper anatomical terms, some of my friends' mothers would freak out when they heard me say "penis" instead of "pee-pee" or whatever they called it with their kids.

In middle school it hit hard. There were rumors about me masturbating. Girls told people that they had heard me moaning in a bathroom stall before I came out, flushed and grinning. My friend Maddy called to tell me that people were staying that, and although she ended up being a troublemaker in my life, she was very sweet to me that day. I cried so much. I was mortified. I wished I could say it wasn't true--masturbating in the bathroom wasn't true, but I'd been very familiar with my body from day one. I'd been menstruating since I was 10 and had breasts even before that. I had been masturbating for as long as I could remember.

In eighth grade I thought I might be a lesbian. I told some of my friends. I don't know if a rumor got around or what, but just the thought of it humiliated me too.

In high school it got worse. I was a serial monogamist, and people would spread rumors about me doing kinky things with my boyfriends. It usually wasn't true, although it sometimes was. For example, I gave my boyfriend Bill a handjob on the band bus through his pants. He had his marching band hat over his crotch so people couldn't really see. I knew tons of "sexually active band geeks" who were doing the same thing, but I was the scapegoat. A teacher at my high school even called my mother to tell her about my behavior--I don't know what she could have seen, as I never even interacted with this teacher. I got into huge trouble. My mom called my boyfriend's mom, and he and I were both extremely embarrassed. We were the slutty couple. Everyone thought I was sexually experienced, even though I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 and in college.

Even at college, I know I'm not immune. I'm a proud feminist and I stay involved in sexual education groups on my campus (my latest accomplishment is bringing Dan Savage to DePauw! Woo!). Though I study most nights, I do party. Sometimes I kiss a girl here or there. Regular, early 20's messing around. I'm nothing unusual, though I'm fashion-forward, outspoken and honest. I have slept with a total of four men, and I've only been sleeping with one for the past 15 months. Still, the now-defunct JuicyCampus.com listed me as an ugly, easy party girl. Reading that comment was one of the more traumatic points of college for me thus far. I cried all afternoon and much of the next morning. My college is smaller than my high school was, and my efforts to reinvent myself had failed--I was popular, I had boys and girls, but I was still a slut.

I just finished reading Leora Tanenbaum's Slut!: Growing Up Female With A Bad Reputation. My heart broke for all the women who had been in my position: rape victims, new girls, early developers, and the sexually conscious. I grew furious at how backwards the double standard has made women's thinking: sexually active girls avoid using birth control for fear of looking like a slut, though getting pregnant or having an STI will make them look just as bad if not worse. We live in a society where women "ask" to be treated unfairly, and it is bullshit and I urge each of you to really think about the next time you call a woman a slut. Please read the book I mentioned above.

Have a happy 2010! Don't you love how the zeros are switched around?

Xmas loot highlights

2009-12-26T08:43:00.000-08:00

This is the secret blog. Shush.

Clothing

Modcloth's Westward Bound Boots
Modcloth's Queen of Chic-ba Cardigan
Delia's Bonjour Balloon Tee
Delia's Le Chat Tee
Lovely orange pashmina scarf with clefs and notes on it.
Victoria's Secret Angel Sleep Tee
Juicy Couture Crest Baby Fluffy Satchel

Culture

The Hangover DVD
Julie and Julia DVD
Away We Go DVD
Nic Pizzolatto's Between Here and the Yellow Sea
Stieg Larsson's The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Tim Blanning's The Triumph of Music
Loads of iTunes and Barnes and Noble gift cards

And, of course A NEW CAMERA!

Which means...OUTFIT POSTS when warranted!

Yay!!!

Merry Christmas, beauties.

2009-12-25T16:35:00.000-08:00

It was a long day, and I'm sure you're having long days so I'll be brief,

but merry Christmas, however you may celebrate.

I get put off when people type their whole list of gifts they received in Facebook notes, but since this is the Secret Blog, I'm kind of thinking of indulging. There were some lovely things.

Happy Festivus

2009-12-23T16:48:00.000-08:00

I just want to share this picture:

Isn't it lovely? This absurdly attractive young couple, probably not in love, probably tricked into this lifestyle by the 1950s, etc., and probably about as happy as Pete Campbell in season one of Mad Men. But this photograph captures the genuine laughter of the wife, and the silly smirk of the husband behind his wine glass. Extra humor is added by the fact that they are posed and dressed up, and they're too distracted by whatever silly thing is making them laugh to take a proper snapshot.

I just had to share it. Courtesy of My Parents Were Awesome.

Now, put up the pole, air your grievances, and perform the Feats of Strength.

How to be About as Happy as Me, vol. II

2009-12-18T20:22:00.000-08:00

6. Do crossword puzzles, but only really hard ones from NYC-based publications.

7. Listen to Wilco on planes. This is important.

New Hampshire.

2009-12-18T20:17:00.001-08:00

I'm home in New Hampshire for the holidays. As always, this experience will prove sad, weird and magical.

This graffiti, which was featured today on Nylon's blog, is in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. It's about an hour away from me, but I still found it weird and serendipitous. Is that the correct adjective?

Amazing xmas gift

2009-12-16T07:35:00.001-08:00

It's clearly a very exciting day here in my dorm room.

My main present for the boyfriend, Nerdcore's mind-bogglingly rad 2010 horror-themed pinup calendar, FINALLY arrived today. It's perfect for him, since he is a horror-centric screenwriter and he enjoys boobies. I ordered it about a month and a half ago and started to worry that it was a scam.

Rest assured, Nerdcore is no scam, and their customer service actually proved quite helpful. And soon, the boyfriend will be able to have pictures like this hanging on his wall:

That one's probably the least provocative, but you get the idea.

Normally I would withhold this information, but this is the secret blog after all, and I'm really just too excited about it to let it go unmentioned.

Daddy Likey contest!!!

2009-12-16T07:23:00.001-08:00

Hey readers!

(Do I have readers?)

Winona of DaddyLikey, possibly the smartest and funniest style blog around is doing a huge giveaway of her book, Closet Confidential to not one, not two, but freakin' five lucky girls, PLUS wrap dresses, unicorn necklaces, advice from her dad AND COOKIES.

So, if you're reading this and it sounds appealing, enter it! and start reading Winona's blog!

As fun as bee body paint may be, Winona will give you other options in her blog and book!

this kitty represents me right now

2009-12-03T11:35:00.000-08:00

My fiction professor--the one I love--invited our whole class out to a bar for drinks after our final paper is due. I'm one of 3 people in the class who isn't 21. Fuck American alcohol laws. I could cry.

this

2009-12-02T15:43:00.000-08:00

I need to figure how to make the middle of this thing wider.

I got lots of free music yesterday and also REALLY thought about it and decided which albums I would take with me if I was ever going to outer space.

WRAP IT

2009-12-01T17:55:00.000-08:00

It's World AIDS Day, everyone, so let's remember to wrap it up and get tested. Getting tested is scary, but remember that the odds are in your favor, and if you have access to an instant saliva swab tests (lots of free clinics offer them), you don't need to wait two weeks like you do with a blood test! And the suspense is nothing compared to the relief of knowing.

Xmas shopping:

2009-11-30T13:56:00.000-08:00

Mom-Flow: the Cultural Story of Menstruation (she's fascinated by gynecology in a way that grossed me out when I got my period at 10 but now think is pretty cool). Two CDs by Patton Oswalt: Feelin' Kinda Patton and My Weakness is Strong. Mix CD? Probably not.

Dad-The Predictioneer's Game. Should buy CD of English classical music: Handel, Elgar, Vaughn Williams, etc.

Older brother-CK One cologne. Also really want to buy him a tweed or herringbone vest.

Younger cousin-Mix CD (will post track listing when it's decided, I want her to be cool at an earlier age than when I started being cool), adorable zip-up hoodie from my college.

Best friend #1-"Hey Earth, Why so blue? -The Moon" tee shirt from Delia's. She's a geologist.

Best friend #2-Unicorn tee shirt from Delia's. She collects unicorn stuff.

Boyfriend-I ordered him a calendar of nude pin-ups posing in scenes from horror movies about a month ago. It still hasn't come in. Grr. He also wants some special-edition albums from Andrew Bird and Mount Eerie.

Panic. Stress. Aggggh.

ANTHROPOMORPHIC TEETH

2009-11-30T10:01:00.000-08:00

YOU'RE WELCOME

6 Steps to Ecstasy

2009-11-29T19:35:00.000-08:00

1. Buy the album Eskimo Snow by the band Why?

2. Go to your bedroom. Turn out the lights and lie on your back.

3. Put on your headphones and begin listening to the album. Be aware of yourself.

4. When you get to the track "Into the Shadows of My Embrace", begin masturbating. Time it so you come during the guitar solo.

5. Lie still and breathe through the rest of that song and the next track, which is slow.

6. Sleep.

How to be about as happy as me.

2009-11-23T19:12:00.000-08:00

1. Listen to your iPod on shuffle every single day. Don't skip over any music. If you want you can skip over comedians or spoken-word stuff, but if you skip over any music you'll eventually forget all about what that music sounds like and you'll be sad, and you might go to see that band live and you won't be able to sing all of their songs, even if the lead singer makes eye contact with you while he's singing. This totally did not happen to me with Yoni Wolf of Why?

2. Buy books! And ALWAYS be buying new music and listening to it.

3. Take antidepressants! Two different kinds if one of them makes you have trouble having orgasms.

4. Go to www.weheartit.com and join them. Put the little thingy in your browser and start collecting pictures of stuff you love. www.weheartit.com/malicemunro is mine. Sorry for all the BDSM porn.

5. Watch BDSM porn.

I'm officially over VH1.

2009-11-22T17:31:00.000-08:00

I used to love VH1 when I was in high school. I liked their clip shows with random-ass comedians talking about stuff I was too young to remember happening. They still show those during the daytime and around the holidays. I'll still watch those.

But right now I'm waiting for Curb Your Enthusiasm to come on and I'm watching the second season of Tough Love. If you're not familiar with Tough Love, it's a show where insecure single women are shown how to be attractive by a douchebag who's supposed to be a successful matchmaker in the real world.

They just showed a segment where the douchebag judged the women's clothes and the image they put forward. One of the prettiest girls of the bunch stood up wearing a sexy but conservative black dress and a fascinator in her hair. She looked so classy and gorgeous, and she had a sweet half sleeve on her right arm. The douchebag said that she needed to let her potential dates know as soon as possible that she is A REAL, NORMAL PERSON.

You know, because guys are freaked out by fashionable women.

BAJILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE WATCHING THIS and the world is going to be that much less fabulous now since insecure women with rad clothes have been told to keep their radness in the closet.

And then at 10 there's Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, which I can't look away from even though it's so sex-negative and against everything I stand for.

SO NOBODY WATCH VH1 ANYMORE.

Enjoy the adorable that is this WHATEVER WORKS still instead.

Why I'm in love with my English professor, part 1

2009-11-22T10:19:00.001-08:00

He makes us read books that have sentences like this:

"This is death in my hand, this is ruin in my breast pocket, where I keep my reading glasses."
-Marilynne Robinson, Housekeeping.

That's describing a man who keeps birds' nests and shit when the snow starts melting.

It's like, seriously??

Here's why it's the secret blog.

2009-11-22T10:18:00.001-08:00

This is the first blog I've ever made where I'm not trying to have an image.